Tuesday, 8 April 2014

Vision. Perception. Intellection.

Have you ever felt lost, after achieving a certain things that you never thought you would in life? There's no doubt that you would have a splash of joy when you first achieved that, the sense of achievement and accomplishing something you have always wanted in life, or even making a dream that you never thought you had comes true. Dancing has always been the biggest part of my life, it is my passion and fire that will never diminish. In the place I grew up - Hong Kong, it is every latin and ballroom dancer's dream to dance at Blackpool which is in England, probably because of the expenses of travelling as well as the opportunity given is very little. However, now that I am studying here in Oxford, I have acknowledged that there are many more opportunities and less of a 'Dream' to dance at Blackpool. I was first a little shocked about that, there are many more other opportunities than the Blackpool Dance Festival, such as the annual University circuit competitions and the ISTD finalist competitions. Before I went to my first competition in England - 23 Feb 2014, my coach told me that if I get into the final round then I would be qualified for the ISTD finalist competition at Blackpool in November. As I mentioned in one of my blog post before, I did it and got qualified for the gold star category.

Last Sunday - 6 April 2014, I went to another ISTD competition in Gillingham. This time I was competing in a higher category which is Awards, and I made it again! However, I was not as excited as I won last time and it almost felt like I have overachieved something that it made me feel lost. It is not that I was not grateful for things, but it started to lose meaning and value for me to win and get qualified. Also the fact that I am not sure if I will be here in November, makes me feel more lost of the meaning of achieving these goals. Or is it ought to be that I have jumped another hurdle in life, so that now I am approaching my next goal, a bigger one and so big that it scares me?

I truly believe that our vision and perspectives change as we experience more and more in life, in other words, when I get older I will be stronger or… wiser :) Recently I have some thoughts or finally understood that life is too short to worry, to worry about the future that we cannot even see. When it comes to us, not as perfect as we pictured and expected in our imagination, we get upset about it. Then we would procrastinate on things as we over think, which leads to us regretting on things that we didn't do, this is definitely not an ideal cycle for all human beings.

Do things now, follow your heart. It may sound cliché, but it really is true. Life does not always give you a second chance, even if it does, it will never be the same. And when you start to regret things that you didn't do, it will be too late, it will be leaving…

What would I do without your smart mouth?
Drawing me in, and you kicking me out
You've got my head spinning, no kidding, I can't pin you down
What's going on in that beautiful mind
I'm on your magical mystery ride

And I'm so dizzy, don't know what hit me, but I'll be alright

My head's under water
But I'm breathing fine
You're crazy and I'm out of my mind

'Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I'll give my all to you
You're my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I'm winning
'Cause I give you all of me
And you give me all of you, oh...

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